i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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