I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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