Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize