One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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