There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
