I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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