i may or may not be watching the land before time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
