Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is wine microwaveable?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
