i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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