I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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