he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
