listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
