At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
