She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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