DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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