so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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