his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize