From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
