I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
