But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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