ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
