I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
