That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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