super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
