It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
