After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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