I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
