So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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