She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize