on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
