if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
