Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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