I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I could make wine with my vomit
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
