Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I won the penis lottery.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
