i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
