your thong is hanging out like whoa
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
