Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
