Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
