I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Found your dick twin last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Im part way to drunk.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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