On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
