i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
