Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
