So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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