so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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