I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
