Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
