Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
