Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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