Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize