I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
