its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
