I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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