I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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