I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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