we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
