She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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