theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
