you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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