Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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